Stress & Anxiety: A Torture Chamber of Enlightenment

Chronic stress and anxiety and the suffering it can create is one key reason I made this site.  There are few horrors worse then your body seemingly uncontrollably breaking you down over an extended period of time from within.  

Below are a series of scientifically grounded frameworks you can use  to help you understand, manage, channel and find balance with stress.  Let's analyze this from multiple angles to help provide an accurate realistic model we can work back from to rectify the situation.

Resources for Stress and Anxiety:

• Tools for Managing Stress & Anxiety | Huberman Lab Podcast #10

Below are Learnings from: Tools for Managing Stress & Anxiety | Huberman Lab Podcast #10

Overview of Topics will include A Framework or Organizational Logic for:

• Understanding the Physiological Stress Response
• Stress Myths
• Physiological Tools for Dealing with Stress
• Increasing your Stress Threshold
• Stress Supplements

What is Stress?

The Good News!  You are not alone and this isn't new.  Human beings have experienced stress for the entirety of our evolutionary history - 3.8 Billion years.  Stress is there for a reason.  Stress at its core is a generalized system used to mobilize other systems in the brain and body.  It did not evolve for dealing with something specific like fighting, running away from danger or speaking in front of a group of people.  In a way this gives it an advantage in hijacking our brain and body.  

However and this is key! Because stress is a generic system it also gives us an advantage in controlling it.  Just as there are hard wired biological mechanisms (specific cells, chemicals, pathways and tissues) that trigger a stress response there are other physiological mechanisms that exist in you right now that require NO neural plasticity (mental rewiring or training) you can use to put a break on it. 

You have a system for stress (Sympathetic Nervous System) and you have a system for destress, rest, digest and relax (Parasympathetic Nervous System).  We will look at how to trigger both but first lets analyze some stress Myths.

The number one stress myth is that stress is bad for you.

This is not nuanced enough in fact the opposite is quite true! Short term stress and release of adrenaline or epinephrin is actually good for you!  Stress does really positive things for us in the short term.  Acute stress - when the stress response hits that is GOOD for your immune system.  Short term stress is good, sharpening of cognition, brings certain elements online that allows your to focus.

The proper way to look at it is that Chronic long term stress is bad for you, short term stress believe it or not, regardless how you feel about it or what the subjective experience feels like is actually good for you.

, it narrows your focus, hard to look at big picture, primes immune system to combat infection, famine, thirst, bacterial infection, invaders, designed to have you fight back against insert generic.  

Adrenaline liberates killer t cells that combat infection.

in understanding the nature and causality of stress we must first distinguish between stressors and stress (your response).  Stressors can be psychological (in your head only) or physical (real world).  Stress does not distinguish between physical (reality) or psychological stressors. 

What happens when the stress response hits?  Understanding immediate, acute or short term stress.

You have a collections of neurons called the sympathetic chain ganglia.  (Sympa has nothing to do with sympathy.  Sympa means together.)  This group of neurons that start at your neck and run to your lower naval become activated by a stressor and behave much like a bunch of dominoes falling.  When that happens those neurons release a neuro modulator called acetylcholine.

Normally acetylcholine is released by your spinal chord and is used to move our muscles: pick up a cup of coffee, walk down the street. In the brain it is used for focus.

There are other neuros called the post ganglionic neurons that respond to the acetylcholine and release epinephrin (equivalent to adrenaline).  

The epinephrine acts in 2 different ways.  It essentially says YES (activate) to certain organs and a NO (deactivate) to other organs.  Generally speaking epinephrin activates things that help you move (muscles, heart etc.) along with increasing focus in your brain.  Your muscles and heart have a certain type of receptor called the beta receptor and that receptor dilates blood vessels, causes your heart to pump etc.   This creates a literally sense of agitation that makes you want to move.  Can be the bias to move or say something.  Generic thing to basically say do something.

For other organs the signal causes the opposite to happen.  It shuts down functions in organs that are not necessary at the moment of stress such as digestion, reproduction, sweat glands in your throat.

What doesn't work to manage stress?

"You can not control the mind with the mind." - Andrew Huberman, PHD Neuroscience Stanford

Generally speaking it is not effective to try and control a physiological domino effect with a thought or thinking.  For instance telling yourself to calm down or telling others to calm down doesn't really help and can even exacerbate the reaction because it is not following the nature of things.

Below is a real time physiologically triggered breathing technique that will help to curb the stress response.  

The best tools to reduce stress quickly and in real time are ones that have a direct line to the autonomic nervous system and activate the Parasympathetic Nervous System. (rest and digest system)

If you want to reduce the magnitude of the stress response the best thing you can do is to activate the other neuron system called the Parasympathetic Nervous System (Para means near) and is evolved to help you in calming and relaxation.  

The parasympathetic nervous system exists in the neck and lower head cavity and lower brain stem and pelvic area.  Especially the cranial nerves the ones up in the neck and brainstem have a direct line to various features of your face including the eyes, eye movement, pupil dilation, we control the face, the eyes.  

The neurons in the pelvic area control the genitals, bladder and rectum and those don't have a direct line - it has to go from brain to spinal cord to the pelvic region. 

The Parasympathetic Nervous System has certain entry points or levers that allow entry, influence or activation to it.

Tool #1: Physiological Sigh

This is the fastest and most thoroughly grounded in physiology and neuroscience for calming down  in  a self directed was is what's called the physiological sigh.  

I've spent the better part of my life in significant amounts of stress and anxiety.  Currently and today I have 2 interviews with two separate Chief Revenue Officers of various technology companies.  I woke up at 5am thinking about this.  Below is how I delt with it.

First things first.  Have I done all of the physiological things to reduce stress like sleep, diet, exercise? Yes to the best of my ability.

In that case.  I need to focus on working on the inner world.  First I need to remind myself that short term stress is actually positive.  Short term stress is focus, anxiety is just energy and potential waiting to be channeled.  

I will feel anxious to some extent until I feel prepared for the activity.  I will feel anxious to some extent until I get closer and closer and more comfortable with that activity - whatever it may be.  It is my body and mind's way of telling me - hey this is important in some way and you need to prepare.  The anxiousness in fact will make me sharper.  It will give me what I need when the activity happens.  It is the fuel.  In a way I should be grateful for it.  How many times have I felt anxious towards a situation when what I was not prepared and when I threw myself at the work and got ahead of it the feeling went away and it turned to bliss and relief.

Furthermore, If I am to reach my full  potential, grow and eradicate this feeling I need to get comfortable with bringing myself closer to the stimulus that causes it.  So if public speaking causes it I need to ring myself closer to public speaking, gain competence and confidence around the activity.

From a physiological standpoint I don't want the stress response to overwhelm me.  So I do need to maintain some conscious effort on my breathwork.  I will maintain a conscious effort to perform physiological sighs along with taking in deep breaths to make sure I  am originating and priming all of my organs.  If able I may take it as an opportunity to do some muscle resistance training. and my body is literally being primed for movement.  I may take a conscious effort to move slightly if I'm sitting down or in a board room - to let out some of that steam and re-establish  myself.

At the end of the day we don't feel anxiety about things we are really good at.  We tend to run towards those things.  SO if you are feeling anxious towards something it probably means A. your mind is telling you this is important B. you yourself know and down feel prepared for it.  You haven't put in the work and this  is your brain\body's way of telling you.  At the end of the day we want to grow as a person and use each trigger of anxiety as a stepping stone to develop ourselves.  Generally speaking there is usually something very powerful or important at the other side of the anxiety.   Something it is deeply important to us - so realizing that and slowly and consistently working to overcome it is essentially what will make your life.

We've covered the foundations - we've covered the physiological things you can do in the short term.  Next is assigning meaning.  We need to check that we are not catastrophizing and assigning a disproportionate meaning to the situation.  This is often where people fail.  Instead of looking at the glass for what it is - precisely full to a certain point - we go with half empty.  Im gona die!  The tiger is gona eat me! It's the end of the world! It's not.  Whatever it is you are stressing about - odds are it is a skill.  Be it a fight, a public speech, an interview, a date, a performance etc.  It is a  skill and if you don't perform well - it is a product of spending enough time with that activity to develop it and get good at it.  People LOVE what they are good at and then run towards that thing.

Today I am interviewing so I will prepare for that.  But before I begin I need to mentally write and disconnect myself from the outcome.  No matter how I do on today's interview I am still a good person.  I am a good person because I generally do what I believe is the right thing.  Just because one individual after speaking with me for 30 to 60 minutes does not believe I may be a correct fit for his or her organization does not mean they have any semblance of a clear way to judge me or my life as a whole.  I am not going to take it personally because it is not really personal.  There are any number of things that could be a reason for us not being a genuinely good fit and that doesn't reflect my value as a human being or even my potential or ability.  I do not need to feel shame.  All I need to do is recognize it as one data point and get feedback from it.  I need to apply a calibration mindset to this.  I need to go on dozens of interviews until I treat it like a game.  For there is no mortal terror or reason for me to feel like my life is on the line and I will die or get eaten by a tiger.  Nor is there any real shame or true judgment that can be laid out onto me.  I am the one that is judging myself and I need to stop and be conscious of the meaning I am assigning other than this is a skill just like bouncing a basketball and I need to shoot a number of free throws and move with the ball and overtime I will inevitably gain sub conscious competence and eventually creative freedom with the activity just like any activity.  My life is not in danger.  This person can not adequately judge me as a human being from this one short encounter.  I will do my best to be my best self for this, but I will dis-attach from the outcome.  I will measure myself against myself not based on the outcome.  As long as I am putting in the work, getting feedback by bringing myself closer to the source of my anxiety, calibrating on that feedback I am a man and I will be happy and proud of myself.  For no one can truly judge me but me, and all I can simply do is make the best of my circumstances.  Over time through concentrated effort I can chisel out myself and who I want to be I just need to create consistency.  I have seen it in any skill or endeavor I have taken up in my life because that is the nature of things.  There is a developmental curve of incompetence, anxiety, basic competence through effort that overtime through gaining feedback from reality and calibrating turns into subconscious competence and finally creative competence.  

I have to state that there is something powerful about being able to answer the question - How will I cure my anxiety?  And your ability to an answer it if I gave you a white piece of paper to write on.  Again if you can teach it you know it.  If you can't write or speak it simply and plainly you don't yet have it internalized.  

Human memories are very tricky in that sense.  You see when we recall something we are literally calling a equivalent of a molecule.  Almost like going to the library and taking a book out.  However - once we get that book we can rewrite it.  Then we put it back we have rewritten our memory.  This is scientifically based and precisely why eye witness accounts are often such horrible evidence.  This is also why you are not what happened to you.  This is also why writing and rewriting and re-reading and story telling are so essential in your own ability to control your inner states.  Because you become the author of your story.  You can take a traumatic experience and rewrite it - and or change the narrative through action to objectively make the world a better place because of what happened.  And through that you can give positive meaning to life from a terrible tragedy or happening,  But it is up to you and you have power and faculty to do it.  To make this world a better place before you leave it.  To help bring about the best of human kind in the real world.  If I were religious I might even say it is moving forward and towards the kingdom of God or the kingdom of what is good in our inner mind and in reality.  Humanity is still pretty young as a civilization.  So we are still calibrating.

Overcoming Anxiety through Writing, Reframing, Repetition and Action 

If I did not have music or sports in my may have never had the BELIEF to overcome anxiety.  

You see there are many forms of anxiety.  Upon getting older I realized mine was an amalgamation of procrastination, fear of shame and rejection, performance anxiety, ruminating thoughts - just going on and on.

I knew something important was going to happen.  I have a presentation in front of a CEO.  I was afraid of feeling shame and being rejected like I was when I was a child by my peer groups.  It mattered so much to me.  This uncomfortable feeling made me want to avoid it.  Anything having to do with it.  Bad childhood habits of procrastinating further made me wait until the last possible moment to go into "HYPER FOCUS" where I would obsess - "get it done" enough to get a solid 85% on a test.  Except this was real life.  I could influence the outcome but it was out of my control.  I could do everything right and a competing priority would mean budget would go to another project this year.  12 months of work....unrealized.

I knew the meeting was coming.  I did not want to face it.  I knew I was not ready.  I would try to distract myself.  Do other things.  Every few minutes the anxiety would come back.  I was not resting.  I was not enjoying myself.  I was not working.  Even if I feel asleep - ever so often my conscious mind would remind me there is something looming.  When I was a kid in highschool I took debate class to try and get better at public speaking.  We were assigned a debate where I had to defend the vietnam war.  The fear was worse then.  The debate was my every waking thought for the 3 days before.  I could not think about anything else.  I analyzed every angle possible.  It drained me.  When the debate was over - we sat outside of the class tallying the votes by each class member on who won the debate based on the merits of arguments and counter arguments.  As the debate happened my teacher even stopped me during the class and said hey it's ok relax.  I did not notice my legs were doing a little dance underneath the table.

Suffice it to say - it dawned on me - not 1 vote went towards the other group.  My obsessive thinking had covered every corner, every angle.  Every potential argument they had I had a counter argument for.  And they were not ready for every one of my unique points of view.

This pattern repeated later in life.  A certain obsession would about before every important appointment.  It could be an important date.  It could be a meeting with a VP or CEO about a multi million dollar deal.  I would dread it.  As soon as I knew it was on the calendar my mind would start to be vigilant and ruminate and obsess.  This would break me down - because I was always anxious.  Sometimes for days or weeks in a row.  It wouldn't go away.  I would never get time to heal.

My friends that know me would say - you!?  Your socially anxious.  Are you kidding me?!  Your like the most outgoing and confident person.  Which was bizarre because when I got started I was rather a compelling, passionate and articulate speaker.  I knew what great was and at that time it was a curse.  The fact that I could see great or perfection made me realize all of my inadequacies and made me beat myself up when I started to practice speaking.  Man I suck.

Only until much later in life did I realize that being able to see my inadequacies meant my potential was great.  That if I put inn the time at the activity I could reach higher and continue to get better and better.  I was looking at it the wrong way.

There were many times that I felt this inner insecurity.  Often when playing sports.  I felt shame, that I'm not good enough, nervous, anxious etc.  But I stuck with it.  I learned to play better players.  At first I was just happy I could get some court time with them.  Later they became my friends.  And later on I would be very relaxed in playing, joiking and even beating them.

This was an important milestone.  I felt the same nervousness and insecurity I felt about interacting with people, presenting in front of people, interviewing and giving large multi million dollar presentations.  But this perspective helped.

I used my logical mind to BEAT into my head.  Presenting in front of people is a SKILL.  Putting presentations together is a skill.  Putting business presentations together is a SKILL.  It's a performance sport.  Sales is a skill.  Building and growing a company is a SKILL.  Time * Activity = Improvement in that Activity.

Similarly so I remember at around age 16 I went to a drum conference in New York City.  I had been playing drums on pillows with makeshift sticks made from broken window curtain rods for probably a decade.  My hands were FIRE.  I enjoyed playing everyday for hours a day.  BUT when I went to the conference I sat down on a full drum set many times.  4 limbs not 2.  I would start by playing singles, syncopations and double stroke rolls on a closed hi hat.  And literally people would start to gather.  As soon as I moved around the kit and added my feat it all fell apart and they would lose attention.

At the same time I would see these 6 and 8 year olds that were absolutely killing it on the drums.  I was 16.  I had dedicated myself to this.  It hurt so much.  I remember going up to the featured drummer for the conference Omar Hakim.  At that young age I did not know what the truth was.  I was still wrestling with the question of if being good at drums was an innate talent you were born with - that some people had an advantage.  Or if it was a skill you could develop.  So I asked him.  I asked him just that.  He told me it was a skill - that you had to put the time in.

I was so hurt.  A decade plus of putting effort into something and frankly these 8 year olds had kicked my butt.  I remember sitting there in McDonalds by myself eating a meal.  Floored.  I wanted to give up.  The pain was terrible.  I felt tears and a horrible feeling in my chest.  After some more reflection I came to a conclusion.  A simple goal.  That I would practice 2 hours a day every day.  And I would come back to the conference in 1 year time and in that time I would be able to lay down a simple beat.  4 limbs.  And just hold it down - not have it all fall apart. 

I tell you this.  I had blown away all notions of what I thought was possible in a year in the first 3 months.  Now granted this was because I had pu tin the sweat equity over the decade before.  But I was shocked at how much progress I was able to accomplish with 2 solid work hours where I focused diligently.

I am back at that place now at 40.  I am 5 interviews in with this company.  Head Recruiter, Chief Revenue Officer, Chief Customer Officer, Chief People Officer, VP Sales.  Now they want me to do a 30 minute presentation.  I'm dreading it.  I'm in  purgatory.  Not fully resting.  Not fully working.  But I am old enough to notice the pattern and write it down.  I am old enough to reflect.

I will use repetition to force my subconscious mind and change my internal state.

Business Presentations are a skill.

Skills are crafted through repetition.

If I practice in front of a mirror for 2 hours a day I will become a master presenter eventually and inevitably.

I've put in the work over the last 15 years in sales, I know what is good and bad.

The fact that I see bad is only an example of how good I can be and proof of my potential.

I accept the worst possible outcome - that this team will decided not to move forward with hiring me - because it doesn't matter.  It is about developing myself.  And in the long run if I stay persistent - I will be great.  It is cause and effect.  I have to put the reps in each day, calibrate myself, learn from the masters, incorporate it into my own thinking.  That's all. 

Now it's time to do the work.